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Do you know how they say you need to be a good writer before beginning? I disagree.

For me, it was a passion. I always worried that I needed more writing skills before I could scribble down my thoughts into written words. I was today years old when I googled “How To Be A Better Writer” and realized I had wasted time thinking instead of starting.

Writing essays in high school was almost incomplete without adverbs, pronouns, or conjunctions. I remember how it shattered my heart each time the test results came in with low grades. I believed my teacher didn’t value my writing style, causing my first writer’s block. Probably if I knew what I was doing wrong, I would have been better. Whenever I wanted to write, I became discouraged because of overthinking. But I always believed that if it’s in you, it will find its way out.

If you’ve always had a passion for writing, then you must have kept a journal. I kept so many. The kind of cute, lockable journals that felt like your mind in your hands. I remember the first day of getting those gave me a rush of adrenaline.

You find yourself staring at them often, sneaking away to write in your new secret book. You write about the cute, innocent boy that’s in your young heart. You write till your thumbs hurt and end with, “I hope he finally likes me back”. Giggling and sighing, you lock and keep the keys away from prying eyes. But that’s never the end of it.

When there’s a new experience, your “best friend” hears first until you lose the keys and have to break its tiny lock. It feels too exposing but it doesn’t end because she is still your favorite. She runs out of pages but you get more to continue. You write about what hurts and makes you happy.

One day, you are tired. You know you cannot keep track of all the moments in your life. You miss writing days. Days become weeks and months. You remember to write but have no idea what to write about. Could it be the exciting news, weeks back, or your first heartbreak?

And it starts. The blockage. The irritation. The urge to write more. The sleepless nights. The burden. At that time, it didn’t matter you were losing yourself. It still won’t matter until something clicks and brings it all back. You find a reason to journal again.

You fix your broken confidence. You appreciate the little things you’re talented in and develop them. You don’t care that there are other skilled writers in the world. The world needs to hear you too.

Criticisms don’t feel like attacks. Nothing pulls you down because it clicked when it was supposed to. It clicked.

Written by: Marian Show